By Michelle Mitchell
As a father or mother you recognize that your baby is not only one other youngster, suffering to develop up. She is your daughter. that during itself makes her the main targeted and critical teen within the world.
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Additional info for What teenage girls don’t tell their parents
A few months ago one particular mother dragged her daughter to my office. When I say ‘dragged’, I mean literally dragged. Emily was far from happy about the experience. As her mother introduced herself and the situation, Emily busied herself by yawning, looking around the room and rolling her eyes. The more Emily refused to engage, the more disheartened her mother became. Finally her mother burst into tears and said, ‘All I want is to have a relationship with her. She thinks I want to hurt her but I don’t.
Teenagers can easily learn how to control the amount of attention and approval they receive by altering themselves. Again, remember that all teenagers do this to some degree, but when it is a driving force that overrides their enjoyment of life it becomes a concern. I don’t care what you think! Symptoms • looking down on people who aren’t striving for the same perfection • continually driving herself to be the best • falling apart if she can’t win or be in control. Mindsets to learn • people enjoy being around someone who is happy rather than someone who is always striving for approval or attention • trying to earn people’s approval usually backfires and repels people • people value a range of internal attributes (faithfulness, kindness) just as much as external attributes (appearance, possessions) • you have to know what is valuable about you as a person so you can offer it to others.
The independence stage appears in different degrees of expression and for different lengths of time. Some young people reach this stage later in their teenage years or even early twenties. Others pass it so quietly it is hardly noticed. I have found that when a young person reaches the stage of independence early in their teenage years, it usually hits hard. If your child is between 13 and 16 years of age in this stage of development, you will have your hands full. It is easy to criticise, judge or even reject young people who are at this stage.